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匿名 2022-04-16 21:39:50
要是那天我出轨了你会怎么样 -
我问：要是那天我出轨了你会怎么样？
老婆迷茫了一下。突然很兴奋的说：你最好找个不在她身上花钱的，让她给你身上花钱。这样我每个月就不用给你钱了。
我只想说：老婆，你太看的起你老公了。 -
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:39:50
逛街路上突然听到后面一声惨叫 -
逛街路上突然听到后面一声惨叫，回头看到二货老公跑过来唔着手。
我调侃到：“走路把手踩了？”
却没想到他使劲点头，说：“钥匙掉地上了，赶忙伸手去捡，结果腿没反应过来，就踩上了！” -
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:39:50
菜炒好后 -
菜炒好后，老婆端出来，说：“尝尝，评价一下。”
老公吃了一口，看了看盘子道：“如果算是一碗汤，你的水放少了；如果算是一盘菜，你的菜放少了。”
老婆脸一沉：“说重点。”
老公道：“盐放多了。” -
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:44:55
A mistake搞错了 -
An amercian, a scot and a canadian were killed in a car accident. they arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered st. peterexplained that there had been a mistake. "give me $500 each," he said, "and i'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened.""done!" said the american. instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene."where……
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:44:55
only once只有一次 -
A novice lion tamer was being interviewed. "i understand your father was also a lion tamer," the reporter queried."yes, he was," the man replied."do you actually put your head in the lion's mouth?""i did it only once," said the new tamer, "to look for dad."一位驯狮新手正在接受采访。“我知道你的父亲也是个驯狮手，”记者说。“他过去是。”那人回答说。“你真的把头伸进过狮子的嘴里吗？”“只有一次，”那位驯狮新手说，“为了找我爸爸。”……
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:44:55
starstruck追星族 -
I have been starstruck since i was a little girl, so i was delighted and practically speechless not long ago when i spotted the actor ernest borgnine walking in my direction on new york's fifth avenue. "why, you're ernest borgnine!" i managed to blurt out."yes," he said, nodding politely, "i know."从小时候起，我就一直被明星所深深吸引，因此不久以前当我在纽约第五大街上认出演员厄内斯特.波格尼向我迎面走过来时，我欣喜若狂，完……
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:44:55
visual training视力训练 -
The squad were having "visual training". one smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. the party was so far away that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly the recruit replied:"sexteen men and a sergeant, sir.""right; but how do you know there's a sergeant there?""he's not doing a……
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匿名 2022-04-16 21:44:55
West Point西点军校 -
My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and as……
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