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匿名  2022-04-08 20:31:04

相亲见面之后
相亲见面之后,女:我不是那种在乎钱,在乎外貌的人。男:现在像你这样的女孩真的少了。你在乎啥?女:我在乎你会啥?男:这个嘛,不是吹的,我啥都会。女:对不起,我们不合适,我不能和你处对象。男:为啥?女:既然你啥都会,你肯定会欺骗我、会背叛我!男:尼玛。。。……
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匿名  2022-04-08 20:31:04

终于跟女神表白了

终于跟女神表白了,她听后没说什么,而是默默地把我拉到黄河边。。。
想起人们常说的不到黄河心不死,我的心当时就凉了半截。
她长出了一口气看着河水说:你能给我买条这样颜色的项链吗?

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匿名  2022-04-08 20:31:04

陪女友去公园遛狗

陪女友去公园遛狗,对面有一大胸妹子,我忍不住偷偷瞄了几眼。。。
女友“啪”一声狠狠的拍了一下二哈的脑袋,骂道 :“你说你贱不贱?顿顿大鱼大肉把你喂的饱饱的,见到一坨屎还是两眼放光!”
我。。。

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匿名  2022-04-08 20:31:04

是不是撩过很多人

女友:“老实交待,你这么会撩,是不是撩过很多人?”
我:“是。”
女友:“哼,我就知道,渣男!”
我:“我撩过好多个女人,她们分别是:曾经最爱哭的你、猜不出问题的你、多愁善感的你、同桌的你。”

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匿名  2022-04-08 20:31:04

我常给女友说

我常给女友说,遇事儿慌张的时候,喝口水就会镇静下来。
那天,我失足落水,她看见我十分慌张,便喊:“别慌!快喝口水!”

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匿名  2022-04-08 20:31:04

怎么撩男孩子

怎么撩男孩子?我闺蜜说很简单,拿出防晒霜,故意挤了很多,然后娇嗔:“哎呀,不小心弄多了,来,伸手。。。”
再把多出来的防晒霜涂到男生手上,注意双手紧紧包住他的手,反复涂匀,十有八九他就是你的了,这招数简直是恶魔啊。。。

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匿名  2022-04-09 23:13:26

Keys? Kiss?钥匙还是接吻
A friend of mine was giving an english lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the united states. after placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. the class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my ……
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匿名  2022-04-09 23:13:26

The Same Service 同样的服务
A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor."when i was first married, i was very happy. i'd come home from a hard day down at the shop, and my little dog would race around barking, and my wife would bring me my slippers. now everything's changed. when i come home, my dog brings me my slippers, and my wife barks at me.""i don't know what ……
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匿名  2022-04-09 23:13:26

Difference 区别
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at california state university in los angeles. "when i say, 'good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'good afternoon." but the graduate students just write it down." “研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来,”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’,……
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匿名  2022-04-09 23:13:26

Prepare Yourself 做好准备
A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "mom - flunked all courses. kicked out of school. prepare pop."two days later he received a response: "pop prepared. prepare yourself."校园里流传着这样的故事:一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报,上面写着:“妈妈-我所有功课都不及格,被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。”两天以后,他收到了回电:“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”……
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