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匿名 2022-03-20 22:17:30
河水向哪里流 -
一天地理老师问同学们，河水向哪里流呀？一学生猛站起来唱到：大河向东流啊。老师没理会他，接著说，天上有多少颗星星啊？那位同学又唱到：天上的星星参北斗啊。老师气急：你给我滚出去！ 学生：说走咱就走啊。老师无奈说：你有病吧？学生：你有我有全都有啊！老师：你再说一句试试 …..学生：路见不平一声吼啊！老师：你信不信我揍你？ 学生：该出手时就出手 …老师怒：我让你退学！学生： 风风火火闯九州！……
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:17:30
诉苦 -
三品考试结束后，三个同学在一起诉起苦来。
甲说：“我语文课考得不好，老师说我是废品。”
乙说：“我体育课跟不上，老师说我是次品。”
丙说：“我政治课不及格，老师说我是危险品。” -
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:04
Creative创造性 -
Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.第一次求职时，我意识到在列举我所具备的为数不多的条件时，得有点创造性。当问及我是否受过其它的培训时，我老实地回答说我花了三年时间学计算机程序设计课。我……
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
Three Surgeons 三个外科医生 -
Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "a man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "today that man is a concert violinist.""that's nothing," said another. "a guy came to me who had his legs cut off. i stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.""i can top both of you," said the third. "one da……
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
New Discovery 新发现 -
A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼，看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后……
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
Are you a normal person?你是正常人吗？ -
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director ..., "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?" "Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would c……
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
Mother Mouse鼠妈妈 -
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush.she watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.mother mouse barked fiercely, "woof, woof, woof!" the cat was so terrified that it ran for its life.mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "now, do you understand the value of a second language?"老鼠妈妈带着孩子们散步的时候看见一只猫躲在树丛后面。她盯着猫，猫……
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
陪老婆回娘家 -
陪老婆回娘家，恰逢小姨子23岁生日，我发了23块钱红包，她说我抠门。
后来丈母娘在厨房对小姨子说：“以后不要这样说你姐夫，他抠门是因为没钱，而他没钱是因为娶了你姐啊。” -
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匿名 2022-03-20 22:27:02
躺着玩手机的时候 -
躺着玩手机的时候，突然无线网断了，懒得动弹，就喊妈妈说：妈，我断网了！你去看一下呗。
妈妈瞪了我一眼，说：自己去，还以为自己没断奶呀！ -
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